Wow, that was hard! I forget how rough it is when I stop working out for a couple of days! It is so easy for me to get out of the habit without even realizing that I have.
Tomorrow come my day 30 pictures and I am really looking forward to seeing some changes that hopefully are there! I find myself getting frustrated with my lack of results in the weight department! I want more than anything to be back to the Fit and Fabulous woman that I used to be. It seems like when you add the "mommy" part in there it cancels out the Fit and Fabulous part. I don't want to look back in pictures and wonder what happened to me or have people say to each other, "Wow she really let herself go!" I want to be able to keep up with my child and future children and have people think, "Man, how does she do it?"
I am hoping that P90X can bring me back to the old me or even help me create a new and better me. Now that I know how to take care of myself hopefully with the next pregnancy getting back to normal won't seem so unattainable!
Lately when I have been looking in the mirror I see my Mother looking back at me. I have her face and sometimes its scary! I think back and wonder will Ava look in the mirror and see me and be afraid and unhappy that she looks like me?!
I have been thinking about my Mother a lot and I want Ava to know all of the good stories. For those of you that don't know my Mom lived a very unhealthy lifestyle and inevitably paid the ultimate price for that lifestyle. That lifestyle impacted me in so many ways and has made me want to be something more, something that Ava would be proud of.
I want her to be able to look in the mirror and when she sees that she has my nose, or my eyes, or that she looks like me and be happy and proud because I went out of my way to be the best I could be for my daughter.
Talk about getting choked up.
ReplyDeleteI suppose I should have followed all of that up with Mom was the most AMAZING woman I knew and I want to bring all the good that she instilled in me into my parenting of Ava, I am scared that some of the bad will creep in! I miss her more than words can say and I wish that the amazing mother that I knew could be here to share with Ava! I loved her so much and we are so alike that it scares me sometimes! I just reread what I wrote and it seems more negative that I wanted it to! Don't get choked up, just be happy that we had what time we did with her! That's what I try to remember and think about!
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